


Maybe we should try

by lighthousesoffalsechoices



Series: Sakura Nanase Matsuoka [4]
Category: Free!
Genre: Implied Mpreg, M/M, Sakura Nanase Matsuoka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 11:30:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20620322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lighthousesoffalsechoices/pseuds/lighthousesoffalsechoices
Summary: Feelings are born when Sousuke decides to stop moping and move to Tokyo.A/N: This is part of my 'Sakura Nanase Matsuoka' series. You should read 'Good from bad' first to understand who is Sakura and how this universe is playing out.





	Maybe we should try

“You’re not my daddy!” Sakura whimpered as he was being dragged away by a strange man. He was holding his little hand tightly in his own which was making it hurt. Some people turned their heads to look at them but the man just smiled and told them his kid was being difficult that day.  
The five year old kept on struggling weakly but it was really worthless. 

“Is that your kid?” Another man suddenly appeared in front of them making them stop walking. He had teal eyes and dark hair. Sakura looked up at him and he blinked.  
He was really big even more than his daddy. 

“Y-Yeah! He is, he’s just you know acting up ‘cause he’s throwing a tantrum.” The guy scratched the back of his head. The younger man stared at him before looking down at Sakura. 

“Is this your dad?” He then asked him but before Sakura could answer the guy tugged his hand, hiding him behind his legs. 

“I am. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” The guy bowed his head and then started walking again but he was stopped by the younger’s hand pressing harshly against his chest “I need to get him home.”

“You need to shut up.” He then knelt down and looked at Sakura again. The boy’s eyes filled with tears “Kid? Is this your dad?”

Sakura looked up at the guy who was holding his hand and then at the young man. He sniffled but didn’t reply. 

“See? There’s nothing wrong.” 

“I heard you saying that he’s not your dad.” The man didn’t look at the other and kept his eyes on the child “Was it true?” He asked quietly, softer but the boy kept quiet. The man then grabbed something from his pocket and showed the child a police badge that read ‘Yamazaki Sousuke’ “I’m a police officer, see? You can trust me.”

The man’s eyes widened and the boy sniffled again “I jus’ wanted candy…” He whispered and Sousuke nodded.

“I need you to tell me if this man is your dad.” He showed Sakura a small smile.

Sakura shook his head “Daddy is worried.” He rubbed his eyes and Sousuke nodded. 

“Sir, let him go right now.” Sousuke said as he stood up and looked at the man deep into his eyes. The older, in response, suddenly pushed Sakura against the police officer and started running away. Yamazaki wanted to follow him but he had to catch the child before he could fall down. He looked back to where the other had run off to. He then quickly grabbed a phone from his back and said words far too fast for Sakura to understand before he looked back down at him. He knelt down and then smiled again at the boy “That was scary, huh?” He tried to be as kind and gentle as possible, he had learned in his training about how he should treat children in different types of situations but when it actually happened in real life that was something else. He certainly hadn’t expected the boy to suddenly start crying.  
He hadn’t expected himself to suddenly realize he knew those eyes and that hair. He knew that face. He gulped to try and compose himself but it really wasn’t that easy when he was almost certain this child standing right in front of him was no other than his best friend’s child. There was no other way. Besides, this kid was Sakura’s age “Don’t cry, it’s okay.” He tried to comfort the boy “Do you know where your daddy is?” The child kept on crying ad Sousuke didn’t know what to do to be able to calm him down like he was supposed to. He then looked around, as if that would give him an answer.  
And it actually did “Were you in that park?” He pointed at the one right across the street. Sakura turned his head and he nodded in between cries. Sousuke nodded as well before standing up and offering the child his hand “Let’s go look for your daddy together, okay?” The boy stared at his hand as he hiccuped and tried drying his eyes. He looked up at Sousuke and then stretched his little hand. Sousuke’s grip was much more gentle. It reminded Sakura of his daddy.  
The boy started walking towards it “What’s your name? Mine is Yamazaki Sousuke.”

“Sakura!” Someone was yelling as they were arriving at the park. Sousuke looked at him and sighed in relief when he noticed it was Makoto “Sakura?!” He saw as the man gripped his hair and continued looking around desperately. The child whimpered and he struggled in Sousuke’s grip. The man quickly let go and he watched as he ran towards Makoto. Sousuke followed close behind and watched the scene unfold.  
When he noticed his child running up to him, Makoto fell down to his knees and he opened his arms, hugging his nephew tightly in them and kissing his head repeatedly.

“He’s okay.” Sousuke said after a bit “Just scared.”

Makoto looked up at him and the Sousuke noticed he was crying. His green eyes widened and he lifted the child in his arms as he stood up and walked closer to the other “S-Sousuke?”

“Officer Yamazaki Sousuke.” He suddenly turned serious and Makoto blinked before he smiled tenderly. 

“Thank you so much, Officer Yamazaki...I-I turned around one second and he wasn’t there anymore and I-I just…”

“It happens.” Sousuke nodded “A pervert got to him before you could. They are always alert specially in parks.”

“A-A pervert?!” 

“I already called the guys that are patrolling to get him.” Sousuke said calmly “From what I’ve gathered he offered him some candy.”  
“Sakura…” Makoto looked down at the child in his arms who just hid his face in the crook of his neck “Sakura, we talked about this.”

“I’m sure he got it now.” Sousuke intervened “That was pretty scary.”

“Thank you so much, Sousuke.” Makoto said quietly “But...What are you doing here? I thought you were in Kyoto?” 

“I was but...Things happened and I decided to come here and just start all over.”

“I’m glad you’re doing better, Sousuke-kun.” Makoto smiled softly “We were all really worried since you just...disappeared.”

The police officer looked away and he sighed “I was okay. I just focused on helping my family with the restaurant.” He then looked at Sakura who was still holding onto his uncle “He’s grown so much.”

“Children tend to do that.” Makoto teased and it made Sousuke smirk “It’s getting late and he needs to get a snack now. Why don’t you come over for some tea now?” He smiled softly as he rubbed the kid’s back “We can catch up. If you’re not busy, of course.”

“No, no, it’s actually my free day today.”

\--------------------------------

“What a day.” Makoto sighed deeply as Sousuke and himself finally sat down to drink some tea and eat a couple of slices of cake left from Sakura’s birthday party “I’ve been a little busy with work so I just wanted to spend a day with him. I can’t believe I let him out of my sight…” 

“I told you this is pretty common. Even if you tell children not to go with strangers, if you give them the right words they may get things mixed up and that can cause their lives or integrity.” 

Makoto gulped and looked down “Please don’t say things like that.”

“I’m sorry, Makoto.” Sousuke took a sip from his cup “It’s just how things are. I’ve learned that the hard way at the academy.” 

“Speaking of which…” He smiled warmly “Why the police?”

“Well I really didn’t know where I was going with my life.” Sousuke sighed “I do like helping at the restaurant and cooking is my hobbie but I felt something was missing.” He smirked bitterly “Everything was missing since Rin died.” At that, Makoto smiled sadly. He understood that feeling too well “In all these years I thought a lot about Sakura, you know?” He looked at the other man who nodded in response “I never really stopped thinking about him. I kept on feeling guilty about just leaving him behind. I know I betrayed Rin-”

“You needed time.”

“Didn’t you?” Sousuke arched an eyebrow “And you still took such a responsibility when we were all too damn coward to do it.”

“I don’t see it like that, Sousuke-kun.”

“Mako-”

“Sakura-chan saved my life.” Makoto tilted his head and smiled “I just like to think it was meant to happen. But maybe that sounds too mean...I really wish I could change things, not for me, but for them. It makes me sad to think they are missing on their own son.”

“You saved Sakura too.” Sousuke stretched his hand but before he could grab Makoto’s he stopped himself “I was a coward. I still am.” He pulled back “Maybe it’s why I joined the police force. I wanted to stop being a coward. And it’s why I moved here too.” He looked down at his tea “I want to be a part of Sakura’s life. And I can’t believe it took me five years to realize it.” He chuckled bitterly “It only took you two seconds.”

“You saved him today, Sousuke-kun. I’d love it if you become a part of his life. And I’m sure he would too.” Makoto smiled brightly and Sousuke’s eyes widened before quickly looking away.

Had Makoto’s smile always been this blinding?

\-------------------------------

“Grumpy uncle.” Sakura greeted Sousuke one Saturday morning when he opened the door after the man had rang the bell only once. The child then stretched his arms at him and Sousuke arched an eyebrow “Up.”

“I thought you were a big boy by now.” He said but he still lifted Sakura in his arms before getting inside the apartment and closing the door behind him.

“I am.” The boy nodded as he wrapped his small arms around Sousuke’s neck. 

“Sakura, how many times I’ve told you not to open the door?” Makoto scolded as he walked over to them. He kissed the boy’s cheek before looking at Sousuke “Good morning, Sousuke-kun.”

“Good morning.” The man nodded. They both stared at each other for a long moment until Sakura waved a hand right in between them. Sousuke blinked and then arched an eyebrow “Do you want something?” He faked being angry and Makoto giggled behind his hand.  
“We’re gonna be late.” Sakura said and Makoto nodded before he turned around.

“Come have breakfast, you two. We are leaving in half an hour. I need to get there early to be with the kids before their big competition.” He smiled to himself as he got the table ready. Sousuke put Sakura down who rushed over to sit down. 

“Do you need some help?” Sousuke asked Makoto who shook his head.

“Please sit down, you’re already doing a lot by helping me with him today.”

“It’s the least I can do. Besides, I get to spend time with the little guy.”

“Big.” Sakura said as he grabbed his glass of juice and Makoto chuckled.

“Little big guy.” Sousuke smirked at the kid who pouted and looked away. 

“Please don’t tease a child like that, Sousuke-kun.” Makoto sat down as well. 

After around an hour both Sousuke and Sakura were sitting together watching the different swimming races take place. The man couldn’t help but think back of his years swimming with Rin. He had loved to fool himself back then into believing that he had a chance with his best friend, that maybe Rin was only looking at him and paying attention to him but everytime he turned to look his friend’s eyes would always linger on Nanase. Nanase’s on Rin and Makoto’s on Nanase’s.  
Ever since he realized this he also understood he wouldn’t be the only one suffering in this story. 

“Where’s daddy?” Sakura tugged on Sousuke’s sleeve as he looked around for his father. Sousuke looked down at the child.

“He’s getting ready with his students.”

“Is daddy swimming?” The boy looked up at his uncle and tilted his head. Sousuke believed that, by now, Sakura was Makoto’s son too. 

“No, only his students.” He wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulders to bring him closer when a woman went to sit right next to Sakura “Do you like swimming?”

“It’s fun.” The boy leaned against him and shrugged “I like to sing. And dance. Daddy says he likes it when I sing and dance too.”

“Do you think you could sing and dance for me someday?” Sousuke asked with a little smile. He already knew this and Makoto had already showed him many homemade videos. He thought it was adorable.

Sakura pulled away and looked up at Sousuke “Maybe if you’re nice.”  
“Oh yeah? And what do I have to do to be nice?”

“Make daddy happy.” The child started kicking his legs and Sousuke blinked at the answer.

“Happy?”

“Sometimes he gets really sad.” The boy whispered “I don’t like it.”

“I wouldn’t like it either.” Sousuke nodded before putting a gentle hand on the kid’s shoulder “But you have to know that your dad is really happy. You have nothing to worry about, Sakura.” The man then smiled “You’re a good kid.”

Sakura pouted and looked away making the other chuckle.

\------------------------------------

“Where’s daddy?” Sakura blinked as Sousuke entered his room with a book under his arm. It was late at night, months had gone by ever since he reunited with Makoto and he wanted to help him the most he could. 

“He’s studying really hard right now. You know he has a big test tomorrow.” He then tucked the child in before sitting on the bed and opening the book “So I wanted to read for you tonight if that’s okay.” He smiled a bit as Sakura nodded.

“I wanna know how the story ends. I want the prince to marry the princess.” 

“Well, we’ll see about that.” The man said before he started reading out loud. 

It had taken him some training to be able to read a bedtime story to Sakura. He had insisted that Makoto should go back to college after finding out that he had dropped out because he couldn’t just leave Sakura alone to study. He knew there wasn’t much he could do to help. But if doing this was enough to help his friend through this then he would do his best.  
At first he had been nervous, he never really believed that kids were able to fall asleep if you read them a story but after the first night he had proved of that.  
Now he just enjoyed doing this for Makoto and having this small time spent with Sakura.  
And everytime the boy would fall asleep and Sousuke would have time to just stare at him he always felt as if both Rin and Haruka were right there living in their son. And in some way they were. And it made him both sad and happy. Sometimes it made him want to run away again, there were days he felt he couldn’t bare to look at the kid without thinking of the man he had loved his whole life but he would always feel far too guilty for those thoughts to even linger on his mind. 

“...the end.” Sousuke said softly and closed the book. He smiled when he noticed the boy was sleeping peacefully. He gently placed the book on the bedside table before slowly standing up before leaning down to kiss Sakura’s forehead “Good night, kid.” He whispered before leaving the room quietly and leaving the door half open exactly how the child wanted it to be. 

“Thank you for doing this, Sousuke.” Makoto said quietly from the kitchen. He had a couple of books scattered on the table alongside some sheets of paper “Is he asleep?”

“He is.” The other nodded as he leaned against the door to look at his friend “How is the studying coming?”

“Good.” Makoto looked back down at the table “I’m actually almost done. I’m just re-reading everything to make sure I know this well.” He explained and Sousuke nodded before going inside to grab a kettle and a cup “Tea?”

“You need to take a small break. At least five minutes. Or else you really will overwork yourself.”

Makoto sighed and took his glasses off before rubbing his eyes “Yeah, you’re right.” He then smiled as the man served him some tea and sat down in front of him “Thank you so much for this, Sousuke. Thanks to you I’ll be able to graduate.”

“And Sakura. That kid didn’t even complain when I told him you were studying.” He smirked “He’s pretty smart.”

“Yeah, got that from Haru.” Makoto smiled as he grabbed his cup and the other arched an eyebrow.

“Rin was pretty smart too.”

“He was. But he was also a drama queen.” He teased and both men stared at each other before they started laughing softly.

“I can’t deny that.” Sousuke smiled sadly as he looked down at his hands. Makoto looked at him and smiled as well.

“Sakura and I are visiting them next week.” Makoto said softly “He has been asking me to go ever since I told him the truth and...I didn’t want to. I don’t want him seeing such a sad things but he insisted…” He sighed deeply “I hope I’m doing the right thing.”

“You are. He may be a kid but he’s not stupid. Death is part of life and they are his parents.”

Makoto nodded before he stretched his hand to grab Sousuke’s. The man looked down at their joint hands before staring at those green eyes “Why don’t you come with us?” He then asked softly “You’ve never been there, right?”

“I didn’t want to see it.”

“Maybe it’ll be good if you do. And I...I wouldn’t want you to be alone when you do. Come with us.” He smiled softly at Sousuke “And I’m taking Sakura out for some ice-cream after. Just to get his mind off of it.”

“I’m in.” Sousuke intertwined their fingers together “I think I can do it as long as you’re there.”

Makoto’s cheeks turned pink “I-I’m glad I c-can help then.” He stuttered out embarrassingly. 

“You look so beautiful when you get all nervous.” Sousuke whispered and they both stayed in silence for a while. They then stared at each other and Makoto squeezed his hand, making him snap out of it “Shouldn’t have said that.” 

“N-No, it’s okay.” Makoto scratched the back of his neck “I just...wasn’t expecting it.”

“All my life…” Sousuke started speaking and Makoto blinked “...All my life I just thought that my heart belonged to Rin and that there would never be anyone else like that for me. That I wasn’t meant to really...like anyone else.” He sighed “I just believed I wasn’t meant to be loved back. And maybe I am right. But I did make a mistake in thinking that my whole heart belonged to him. A part did and still does. But I have more space there than what I thought.”

“Of course you do…”

“And you’re there too now.” Sousuke then said and Makoto bit his bottom lip before looking down.

“Sousuke I…”

“I get it.” The man then tried pulling his hand away but Makoto squeezed it before standing up and walking to his side. Sousuke slowly stood up “Makoto…”

“I feel the same.” He smiled tenderly “I really do. You’re the only one who really understands me and you’ve been such a big help and I...I do feel the same.” He nodded before gently letting go of his hand and wrapped his arms around the man’s neck. Sousuke was quick to hug him back “And I-I never thought I’d ever fall in love again.”

“Me neither.”

“But I’m not sure if we can do this right now. Sakura is so young and I-”

“Then let me have tonight.” Sousuke whispered against Makoto’s lips “Let me have you tonight. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to but I just want to be close to you.” 

“Sousuke…”

“I’ll wait…” He then kissed Makoto and couldn’t be happier to feel him kissing back just as passionately “I waited for Rin...I’ll wait for you…”

“I’m so sorry…” Makoto said softly before pecking the other’s lips repeatedly “So sorry…”

“Let me stay by your side until we can...That’s all I ask.” He smiled a bit as he felt Makoto nodding “Thank you…” He said quietly before kissing the man again, holding him tightly against his body.

\----------------------------------

“Happy birthday!” Both Makoto and Sakura exclaimed as the man opened the door to his apartment. He blinked when he noticed the child was in Makoto’s arms and was holding a small yet very good looking cake. 

“Makoto? Kid?” The man blinked and Makoto chuckled “What are you doing here?”

“May we come in?”

“Cake’s heavy!” Sakura complained with a stoic expression and Sousuke hesitantly moved. 

Once inside, Makoto helped the child put the cake on the table. And once he was put down, Sakura climbed a chair and stretched his hand to lick some frosting. Makoto giggled “Sakura…” He scolded and the boy pulled away as his cheeks turned pink. 

“Makoto…” Sousuke whispered as he looked around “This isn’t the right time.”

“We didn’t want you to spend your birthday alone. So I made some time so we could spend it together.” He smiled softly “We got you some presents too an-”

“Sousuke-kun?” A woman voice asked from behind a closed door “Come back to bed.” She then giggled and Makoto frowned deeply at that. 

“I-I’ll be right there!” Sousuke exclaimed and Sakura blinked as he looked at his father “Makoto..I’m so sorry, I…”

“We need to go, Sakura.” The man turned to look at his son and he smiled softly at the child before lifting him in his arms again “Grumpy uncle is very busy right now and we shouldn’t bother him, okay?”

“But I want cake.” The boy wrapped his arms around Makoto’s neck. 

“We can get some on our way back home, okay?” He smiled before rubbing his nose against Sakura’s, making the child smile. 

“Makoto, please listen to me.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself.” He whispered as he rubbed Sakura’s back, trying to comfort himself rather than the child “It’s my own fault for hesitating so much. It cost me him and now…” He shook his head “Happy birthday, Sousuke.”

“Happy birthday!” Sakura said brightly and Makoto smiled softly as the boy stretched his arms to hug the other man. 

“Thank you, Sakura.” Sousuke whispered against the child’s head before kissing his cheeks “I’ll have a great birthday because of you.”

When the boy pulled away, he turned around and carried him outside. Sousuke watched them leave from the door.  
He felt like running to them, he felt as if he belonged with them. And maybe he would if he stopped making so many mistakes. Who the hell confesses and then starts sleeping around?  
He was never able to do the right thing, it had costed him his shoulder, Rin and now both Makoto and Sakura. 

“Sousuke?” The woman came out of the room completely naked. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck from behind, pressing her chest against his back. 

“You have to go.” He quickly pulled away and looked at her “Get dressed and leave.”

She put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes “So that kid I heard is yours?” Sousuke didn’t answer and she shook her head before turning around to go get her clothes “You should have told me you had a kid.”

“I don’t.”

“Of course you don’t.”

\-------------------------------------

That same day, Sakura was sitting on the carpet coloring as Makoto did the dishes. The man sighed deeply and tried to focus all his attention on what he was doing instead of that woman’s voice that still resonated through his head.  
He knew it was all his fault, he knew he had been too insecure and this was the clear consequence of it. He couldn’t expected Sousuke to be loyal to an abstract idea. 

“Daddy, the door!” Sakura suddenly yelled and Makoto blinked as he looked up. He now realized someone was knocking on it. He quickly dried his hands and went to get it. 

“Coming!” He exclaimed before opening it. His eyes widened when he saw Sousuke standing there. The man was carrying a couple of bags “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry.” Sousuke then said “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize I want to spend today with you two.”

“You should go.”

“Let me stay.” The man stared deep into Makoto’s eyes, making his resolve crumble “Let me stay with you two. You are my family.”

“Sousuke…”

“Please.” He begged before leaning closer to kiss Makoto’s lips. They both closed their eyes and shared a gentle kiss. Makoto was the one to pull away before looking back.

“Sousuke. Sakura…”

“I’m sorry, I had to do it.” He whispered with a small smile “Do you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, we are not a couple.”

“But I have feelings for you. It’s like I betrayed you.”

“Technically you didn’t bu-”

“I did.” Sousuke nodded “It felt really wrong anyway. Can I come in?”

“S-Sure.” Makoto gulped and nodded before moving away, letting the other in. 

“Grumpy uncle!” Sakura exclaimed when he noticed the other was in their home. He quickly jumped up from his spot and rushed to hug the other who put the bags on the table before lifting the kid in his arms.

“Missed me?” Sousuke chuckled before kissing the boy’s head “I sure missed you.”

“You’re not busy?” Sakura then asked and the man shook his head. 

“Not anymore.” He said softly before hugging the boy again. He then turned his head and smiled at Makoto who sighed and then went to wrap his arms around them both. 

“Happy birthday, Sousuke-kun.”


End file.
